Ya’ll, the Lord has done an amazing work in my life this past year. I’d like to share bits and pieces of it with you. I haven’t written a post in a year, but, to be honest, I haven’t felt the liberty of the Lord to do so until recently. This past month I have felt the sweet presence of the Holy Spirit nudging me to write again. A rawness has appeared that I haven’t felt in months. So, in this humbled state, let me share what God is doing and has done. If you know me personally or have followed our story on Facebook, you know we did adopt, (insert praise hands emoji) and I can’t wait to share all of those precious, God ordained details with you, but first let me remind you about grief.
A few weeks ago we attended a baptismal service at another church. Ella Joy was being
disruptive enthusiastic, so I took her outside. We sat on a bench outside the church doors. When church ended and the congregation exited, a little girl and her mom saw us and smiled. The little girl said “baby” and came and sat down beside of me and Ellie on the bench. She was stunning. When she sat down I told her she was beautiful and I asked her, her name. As she spoke in that tiny toddler voice I looked up to her mother for a translation. As her mother spoke my heart sank to my stomach. I put on a happy face and smiled back at her. As they walked away I crumbled. On a beautiful, sunny Sunday, in front of strangers I cried. Grief is like that, it will knock you on your face when you least expect it. Just hearing my sweet girl’s name, Allie Grace. It was more than I could bear on that day. The truth is, God does heal. Even if we are left with scars.
You see, in joy or sorrow I deeply desire a deeper, stronger relationship with God. I desire to be drawn near to Him and for Him to be near to me. To speak to me and through me, that anyone who reads these words may feel His touch too.
This week I ran into a lady at Walmart who didn’t know my name, but she looked at me and said “You’re a story for His glory!” Yes! Her statement made my day! You see she didn’t know me or my name but she knew my story. “To tell you my story is to tell of Him.”