Letting Go And Letting God

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I taught kindergarten before coming home full time. It was during my third year of teaching that I became pregnant with my oldest son Tucker. It seems like yesterday I was walking the halls of that elementary school with my growing baby bump, and now that baby is about to walk those same halls without me.  I know all about the teacher stand point of “the first day of kindergarten” but now that it’s only weeks away, I’m crumbling at thinking about the parent stand point of “the first day of kindergarten”.

Tonight I read a blog post about “enjoy it, it goes by fast”, and the post literally had me sobbing. The Mom writing the post was writing about the first day of kindergarten and her post hurt my heart. What if he couldn’t…and I’m not there. What if he gets hurt and I’m not there? What if he successfully masters the monkey bars and I’m not there to celebrate? What if he misses me as much as I’m missing him? The “what if’s” were driving me crazy! I immediately wiped my eyes, blew my nose, and went and crawled in bed with my soon to be kindergartner. I held his sleeping body close to mine and squeezed his hand as I prayed over him.

“Lord, please watch over Tucker. Give him eyes and a heart for you. May he love you with all his heart, soul, and mind. Lord, give him a Godly teacher and role models. May he be placed in the classroom where he can bring you the most glory as well as form friendships that will last a lifetime. Root his heart in the fruit of the spirit and save his little soul at a young age. May his eyes be focused on things eternal and may he always count his blessings. Jesus, please place a hedge of protection on him and may he always know how much he is loved. “

I’ve known this school thing was coming and I’ve dreaded it for months. But every time I think about it, I am reminded of two mothers in the Bible.  Jochebed, the mother of Moses. and Hannah, the mother of Samuel. Both of these mamas had their baby boys for a short time before they handed them over for someone else to raise. According to a google search and the Jewish traditions, weaning a child could take place anywhere between 2 and 5 years old.

Jochebed was a woman of great faith. She hid her baby. The Bible says that Jochebed saw he was a goodly child. (Ex. 2:2) Sure, Moses made his share of mistakes, but overall he did a lot of good.  He led the Israelites out of bondage and He even wrote the first five books of the Bible!  It wasn’t his time with the Pharaoh’s daughter that instilled his God fearing character. It was the faith of his mother. It was the years that he spent with his Mama, her prayers, and her faith in God that made Moses the man of God that we all know.

Now, let’s look at Hannah. Hannah desperately desired to have a child. She promised the Lord that if He blessed her with a son, she would give the son back to serve the Lord, and that is exactly what she did. The Bible says in Samuel 1:24 that when she had weaned him, she took him to the house of the Lord. As we read this story, it’s very clear that it wasn’t Eli’s teaching and raising that molded Samuel. The Bible says that Eli’s sons knew not the Lord and did evil. It was Samuel’s time alone with his Mother that helped mold him into the prophet He would become. Hannah’s impact on her son was huge! Her faith during those weaning years and prayers afterwards played a vital role in who Samuel was.

I can’t imagine what it was like for these women to say goodbye to their sons. But I do know that these women were of great faith and they knew that the Lord God Almighty was there watching over their sons every step of the way. He sees and He loves our children in ways that even us Mama’s can’t. It’s a hard reality, but God loves our babies even more than we do and their story is being written by Christ alone.

This season with young children can be exhausting when day in and day out all I seem to do is train little sinful hearts. I’m encouraged by the stories of these two mama’s and reminded that my faith, my humility, and my prayers as my children’s mama will leave a lasting impression upon their hearts and their character. Our home is full of sin, but it’s also full of God! God is not only molding these little hearts, but He is molding mine too. So with the best of my ability I’m going to try and “enjoy it. It goes by fast”.

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. 3 John 1:4

 

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One thought on “Letting Go And Letting God

  1. I know how you feel Sweetie, about sending your precious baby boy to Kindergarten!! I can promise you, without a doubt, your precious one will be LOVED and looked after beyond compare!! You will still worry and be sad sometimes, but please know his teacher, no matter who it is, will care about him TREMENDOUSLY and will try to share Gods love with him whenever they possibly can!!

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